i think my tv is drunk
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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