my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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