the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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