we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
