I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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