You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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