you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
