I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
