.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm having to shit out rocks
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
