Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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