I'm eating all of the evidence.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
