All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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