so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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