idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
