I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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