can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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