tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We just shotgunned beers for America
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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