did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
