Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
