so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
