K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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