I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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