party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
