I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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