bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
