I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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