Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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