i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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