so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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