Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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