she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
