Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
