there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Randomize
