Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
