So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
