I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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