What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
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