my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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