New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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