I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
