I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My life is pants optional.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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