I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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