508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
