weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
