U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I got her a Nickelback box set.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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