Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
