I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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