i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
