i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
