i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He told me they were just razor bumps!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
