I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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