that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
