Please, let me fuck your mom
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
