dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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