I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Randomize
