its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
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As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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