So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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