she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
one might say we're banned from that church
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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