what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
