I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do you still have your period?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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