I want to have your abortion
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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