its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
