oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
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My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
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I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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