nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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