Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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