bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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