Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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