just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You're like the curious george of whores
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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