i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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