I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
