she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
